We’ve all felt “not good enough” at some point in our lives. Maybe you feel like you’ll never pass your exam, attract a good partner, or move up in your company.

It’s important that you challenge these thoughts because if you dwell on them for too long, they can turn into full-blown beliefs and negatively impact your self-esteem.

Here are 5 questions you can ask yourself when you’re not feeling good enough.

1. What evidence do I have that I’m not good enough?

Often our negative thoughts are based on feelings rather than evidence. And when we take time to examine the facts, we realize that we’re a lot more capable than we thought.

You may even have “impostor syndrome,” a psychological phenomenon that causes you to doubt your own accomplishments. People with impostor syndrome believe their success is due to luck or other external factors rather than their own abilities.

Remind yourself that you’ve worked hard to get where you are in life.

2. Am I comparing myself to others unfairly?

Sometimes we feel like we’re not good enough because we’re comparing ourselves to others who are in different circumstances.

We may also be comparing our own weaknesses to another person’s strengths. It’s important to remember that everyone has their own unique journey.

3. What are my strengths and accomplishments?

Focusing on your strengths and accomplishments can help you feel more confident and capable. Take some time to list out your achievements and positive qualities.

This list doesn’t have to include tangible awards like a trophy — although it certainly can. You can also include positive qualities you possess, such as always doing your best or being kind to animals.

4. What’s the worst that could happen if I’m not perfect?

Often, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect, but this can be unrealistic and unhelpful. You may even have atelophobia, an obsessive fear of imperfection.

It can be helpful to ask yourself what the worst-case scenario is if you’re not perfect, and you’ll probably find that it’s not as bad as you imagined. In fact, making mistakes is how we learn and grow.

5. What can I do to improve how I feel?

Think of things you can do to improve your mood and feelings of self-worth. This could be:

  • taking a break
  • practicing self-care
  • talking with a friend or therapist
  • doing something that brings you joy
Reminder: You’re good enough

There are numerous reasons why you’re good enough. Here are four of them:

  1. You are unique: You have a unique set of skills, qualities, and experiences that make you who you are. No one else can be exactly like you, and that makes you special.
  2. You’re capable of growth: Nobody is perfect, and everyone has areas where they can improve. But the fact that you recognize that you want to improve and are willing to work on it shows that you have the ability to grow and learn.
  3. You’ve achieved things in your life: You’ve likely accomplished many things in your life, big and small. It could be completing a project, being a good friend, or taking care of your family. These accomplishments show that you have the ability to succeed.
  4. You are here: You are alive and living on this earth, which means you have a purpose and a place in this world. You have the opportunity to make a difference, create something, or contribute to society in your own way.
What are the benefits of believing in yourself?

Believing in yourself can help you live a more fulfilling and satisfying life. It’s linked to greater resilience, improved mental health, and better decision-making.

Greater resilience

study of 1,015 middle school students found that self-esteem positively predicts resilience. The authors of the study note that resilience can be thought of as a personality trait that can help you adapt to negative stressors and maintain psychological function.

When you believe in yourself, you have greater confidence in your abilities and your capacity to overcome challenges. This can help you bounce back from setbacks and failures and allow you to stay motivated and persevere through tough times.

Improved mental health

Believing in yourself can help reduce anxiety and stress, improve your mood, and boost your overall sense of well-being.

In contrast, 2019 research shows a link between low self-esteem and increased anxietydepression, and suicidal thoughts.

Better decision making

When you trust yourself and your abilities, you’re more likely to make decisions that align with your values and goals. This confidence can give you the courage to make decisions that you might otherwise hesitate to make.

You’ll also be less likely to second-guess yourself or be swayed by the opinions of others.

Better relationships

When you believe in yourself, you’re more likely to form healthy relationships, less likely to rely on others for validation, and more likely to show up authentically in your relationships.

An analysis of 52 studies involving more than 47,000 participants looked at the links between self-esteem and social relationships over time.

Not only did the authors find that positive social relationships, social support, and social acceptance can help shape positive self-esteem in people of all ages, but they also found a significant effect in the reverse direction.

In other words, feeling good about yourself can improve your relationships.


Next steps

Believing you’re “good enough” is extremely important for your overall well-being. It can improve your mental health, relationships, and decision-making skills, among many other things.

If you’re having one of those days, in which you’re feeling “less than,” take the time to ask yourself the five questions above. Remind yourself that you’re a unique individual who has so much to offer the world. You’re not alone.

If you would like to know more about any of the psychological phenomena discussed in this post, or would like to discuss arranging a consultation for an assessment regarding any difficulties you may be experiencing, please feel free to contact us.

Sanctum Psychology, Cyprus.